What Is Adultery: Causes, Consequences & How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship

adultery in marriage

Marriage is often described as a sacred bond between two individuals, built on trust, love, and commitment. However, the painful reality is that sometimes this sacred bond can be shattered by the devastating impact of adultery. In this article, we will delve into the delicate topic of adultery within marriage, exploring the reasons behind it, the emotional toll it takes on both partners and the potential effects it can have on the future of a relationship.

We will also shed light on the concept of emotional adultery, and provide valuable information and insights that can help individuals navigate the aftermath of adultery and make informed decisions about forgiveness, rebuilding trust, and the future of their marriages.

What Is Adultery?

What Is AdulteryAdultery is a term commonly used to describe the act of a married person engaging in a sexual relationship with someone other than their spouse. It involves a breach of the commitment and fidelity expected within a marriage. Adultery can take various forms, ranging from one-time physical encounters to ongoing affairs. It is often regarded as a betrayal of trust and can have severe emotional, psychological, and relational consequences for all parties involved. In addition to the physical aspect, emotional adultery refers to forming deep emotional connections with someone outside the marriage, even without engaging in physical intimacy. Understanding the concept of adultery is crucial in comprehending its impact on marriages and the challenges faced when attempting to heal and rebuild trust.

Causes Of Adultery In Marriage

Causes Of Adultery In Marriage

Infidelity within a marriage can stem from a variety of complex factors. While it is important to remember that no justification can excuse the act of cheating. Here are seven reasons why married people may engage in infidelity:

  • Lack of Emotional Connection: When emotional needs are unmet within a marriage, individuals may seek emotional connections outside the marriage.
  • Intimacy and Sexual Dissatisfaction: A decline in sexual satisfaction or a lack of intimacy within the marriage can lead individuals to seek physical gratification elsewhere. Unfulfilled desires, differing libido levels, or unresolved sexual issues can be contributing factors.
  • A Desire for Novelty and Excitement: The monotony of a long-term relationship can sometimes lead individuals to seek excitement and novelty outside of their marriage.
  • Emotional Escapism: Stress, conflicts, or personal challenges within the marriage can drive individuals to seek emotional escape. The affair may serve as a coping mechanism or a way to temporarily alleviate emotional pain or boredom.
  • Unresolved Issues or Resentment: Lingering unresolved issues, resentments, or unaddressed conflicts within the marriage can create an environment ripe for infidelity. Some individuals may seek revenge or use infidelity as a means to exit an unhappy relationship.
  • Opportunity and Temptation: Sometimes, the opportunity to engage in infidelity presents itself unexpectedly. Situations such as workplace relationships, social gatherings, or online interactions can create temptation and make it easier for individuals to cross boundaries.

Consequences of Adultery in Marriage

Consequences of Adultery in Marriage

Adultery within a marriage can have profound and far-reaching consequences for both the individuals involved and the relationship as a whole.

Here are some of the common consequences of infidelity:

  • Emotional Turmoil: The discovery of infidelity often triggers intense emotional turmoil for both the betrayed partner and the one who cheated. Feelings of betrayal, anger, hurt, and profound sadness are common. Trust, once broken, becomes difficult to rebuild, leading to ongoing emotional distress.
  • Relationship Damage: Infidelity can severely damage the foundation of a marriage. The breach of trust erodes the sense of security and intimacy, making it challenging to rebuild the relationship.
  • Decreased Self-Esteem: For the betrayed partner, cheating can lead to a significant blow to self-esteem and self-worth. They may question their desirability, attractiveness, and their role within the marriage.
  • Family and Social Impact: Adultery often has repercussions beyond the couple themselves. Family members, especially children, can be deeply affected by the breakdown of the marriage and the ensuing emotional turmoil.
  • Increased Risk of Divorce: Adultery is a leading cause of marital breakdown and divorce. Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity requires immense effort, commitment, and willingness from both partners to heal and rebuild trust. However, many marriages may not withstand the weight of the betrayal, leading to the dissolution of the relationship.
  • Psychological and Physical Health Effects: The emotional toll of cheating can have significant impacts on mental and physical health. Both the betrayed partner and the one who cheated may experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and loss of appetite.
  • Long-Term Trust Issues: Rebuilding trust after infidelity is a complex and lengthy process. The betrayed partner may struggle with trust issues not only in their current relationship but also in future relationships.

Is Emotional Cheating Considered Adultery?

Is Emotional Cheating Considered Adultery

Emotional cheating is a form of betrayal that involves developing an intense emotional connection with someone outside of a committed relationship, often without engaging in physical intimacy. While it does not involve physical acts of infidelity, emotional cheating can be considered a breach of trust and loyalty within the context of a love partnership.

Emotional cheating typically occur through various means, including:

  • Intimate Conversations: Sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and intimate details with someone other than one’s partner, often on a deep and emotional level.
  • Secrecy and Deception: Keeping the extent and nature of the emotional connection hidden from one’s partner, which can involve deleting messages, hiding communication, or minimizing the significance of the relationship with the third party.
  • Reliance and Exclusivity: Relying on the emotional support, validation, and companionship of the third party, which may lead to emotional distance and detachment from the committed partner.
  • Comparisons and Fantasies: Mentally or verbally comparing the third party to one’s partner, harboring romantic or idealized fantasies about the third party, and experiencing an emotional attraction that goes beyond platonic friendship.
  • Prioritizing the Connection: Investing significant time, energy, and emotional resources into maintaining and nurturing the emotional connection with someone, sometimes at the expense of the committed relationship.

Whether emotional cheating is considered adultery can vary based on personal beliefs and the boundaries established within the relationship. Some individuals and couples may view emotional infidelity as equally devastating as physical infidelity.

Will Forgiving Make A Change?

Will Forgiving Make A ChangeForgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing and rebuilding trust. Forgiving adultery involves a deeply emotional journey that requires:

  • Honest Reflection: Take time to reflect on your emotions, thoughts, and concerns surrounding the infidelity. Understand your own feelings and identify the impact the betrayal has had on you.
  • Open Communication: Engage in honest and open conversations with your spouse about the affair. Share your feelings, ask questions, and express your expectations for moving forward.
  • Rebuilding Trust: Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort from both partners. Establishing transparency, being accountable, and following through on commitments can help rebuild trust in the relationship.
  • Letting Go of Resentment: Acknowledge and address feelings of resentment, anger, and betrayal. Forgiveness involves actively working towards letting go of these negative emotions and focusing on healing.
  • Self-Care and Self-Reflection: Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-compassion, and consider individual therapy to work through any personal wounds caused by infidelity.
  • Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries within the relationship to rebuild a sense of safety and security. Discuss expectations and mutually agree on what is acceptable behavior moving forward.
  • Patience and Time: Healing from infidelity takes time, and forgiveness may not come immediately. Patience is crucial as both partners navigate the emotional rollercoaster of healing and rebuilding the relationship.
  • Commitment to Growth: Both partners must be committed to personal growth and introspection. This involves acknowledging personal shortcomings, learning from the experience, and working towards positive changes within oneself and the relationship.
  • Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking the guidance of a trained therapist or counselor who specializes in infidelity and relationship healing. They can provide a safe space for both partners to process emotions and navigate the complexities of forgiveness.


In conclusion, recovering from adultery requires a commitment from both partners to work through the pain, rebuild trust, and foster a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. If you find yourself grappling with the complexities of adultery in your marriage, know that you don’t have to face it alone. Professional counseling services are a way to strengthen your emotional connection.

At CoupleMantra, we offer a variety of counseling services tailored to your unique needs. If you have any queries regarding Online Divorce Counseling experienced therapists at CoupleMantra can help: Book a trial couple therapy session

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